I woke up alone, again. I knew no matter what everyday I would wake up all alone, no one in the room, no one in the house. I envied Serena with her loving family, Rei with her grandpa, Ami with her parents and everyone who woke up with someone next to them.
I stretched and got out of bed. I tried to keep things positive, thinking about Ken. My mind kept trailing back to being alone. What if I was always alone.
It was a week before New Years Eve, and I had no plans yet. I knew my friends were going to be there for me. Ken was there on Christmas with me. It was nice. Everyone was with me, and for once it seemed like I had a family.
The doorbell rang. “I’m coming hold on,” I yelled. I got up and answered it.
“Hey Lita,” Ken said, “I um, have to talk to you.” “Ken what’s wrong? Are you ok?” I asked answering to his troubled tone. He came in and sat down. “I’m not able to see you anymore… I um… met some one.” Tears fell down my face. “What,” I stuttered, “What are you saying?” “Lita, calm down, I just… I’m afraid Lita. I’m afraid that one day I’ll wake up next to you, and realize I’m not in love. Maybe I’ll realize I’m in love with the girl next door.”
“Ken, don’t lie to me. You suck at lieing and always have. Why are you doing this? What is going on protector?” Ken smiled and then forced it back. “Nothing Lita. Look I think we should get away from the house, you know go to the coffee shop.” “Sure.” I replied. I knew something was going on. Ken was really bad at lying. I knew that if it was the truth he would have said it with way less ease. He seemed happy, too happy. I knew it had to be a setup. But I decided to go along with it.
WE sat and talked at the café for about an hour. WE laughed we talked we even acted out dramas and comedies. Finally we left the café and Ken offered to walk me home. As the spotlight can on everyone jumped out of the bushes “Surprise Lita! Happy birthday!” Ken smiled. “You’re right Lita, I’m a terrible liar. I almost told you. The only way I thought I could get you out of the house was to ‘break up’ with you.” I laughed. “I knew it Kennie.” “Lita, I would never do that to you. You don’t deserve such a cruel thing.” I smiled. It reminded me that Ken was my protector.
The alarm rang. I woke up. It was all a dream. It wasn’t even near my birthday. I rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder if the dream meant anything. Some dreams are warnings and some are just, well, dreams, I guess.
I thought that maybe that fact that I was surrounded by friends meant that I wouldn’t be alone all my life. But the beginning made me think that maybe I would be alone. “You read, way to into things, Lita, calm down.” Ken assured me when I told him. “Plus Lita, you know you won’t be alone forever, you have me… and even if we don’t always stay this close in this sort of way, I’m your guardian angel,” Ken laughed. I smiled it was reassuring, but I was afraid, still.
I went to sleep with Ken and loneliness on my mind.
“Ken I was wondering what you’re doing for Christmas?” “Sorry Lita,” Ken mumbled, “I can’t do anything this Christmas. I’m going to on a vacation with my family.” “Where,” I asked. “We’re not sure yet. Look Lita, don’t worry, you won’t be alone, I promise.” “I know.” I smiled. I knew Ken wouldn’t lie.
“Hey guys!” I yelled. I ran into the shop, breathing loudly. “Lita, what’s up?” “What are you guys doing this Christmas?” “Sorry, Lita” Serena said, “We’re all at home with our families.” “But, we should all get together on New Year’s eve, Lita,” Amy said, “No of us are busy then.” Amy grabbed her books. “I’ve got to go. I have to study. I’m not to far ahead.” Amy said getting up. “What,” Serena asked, “Only ten chapters ahead?” “Can it meatball head!” Rei yelled, “At least Amy studies, unlike some people.” Mina looked up. “Anyway, Lita, I think we should go before Nigeria falls gets lose,” Mina said. “How about we go get some ice cream?” “Sure, Mina,” I said, “but then what do you call what you’re eating?” Mina looked down at her strawberry sundae. “Opps, Lita I think I’ve had too much already… sorry.” Mina got up and ran out the door.
I turned to Rie and Serena who were still going at it. I got up and went to the door. “Where are you going Lita?” Serena asked. “What I have to have an excuse like everyone else? I’m a person to you know.” I ran out the door.
I’m going to spend Christmas all alone, again. But at least this year I won’t be alone on New Years Eve. Maybe I was flipping pout too much. Yeah, that must be it. I wasn’t going to be alone all my life.
Christmas Eve was here! It was so happy… or at least it was supposed to be. “Is this all Miss?” the cashier at the checkout asked me. “Yes,” I replied. “Are you sure?” “Yes! All I want is a box of Chocolate! Why do you keep asking me that?” “Sorry, it’s just Christmas Eve, people tend to buy a lot more than just a box of chocolates.”
She handed me the bag. I grabbed it before she could shove it in my face. I ran out. Why did people find it so hard to believe that people don’t always spend ‘Happy Times’ together?”
I sat down. Before I knew it, it was Christmas day. I stretched. Surprise, surprise yet another lonely Christmas. Let’s get to the point. Not Even Ken surprised me like he usually does. I was all ready, dressed and happy to see him and go out for our usual Christmas surprise. I sat down and cried. I mean of course I belived him when he said he was going on a vacation… or did I? Maybe I thought he had just gotten better at lying, at covering it up. I was ready for him. I was happy. I sat up. I thought he had just made that excuse up, like he did every year, to cover up our surprise Christmas dinner. I stopped crying. I thought Christmas wasn’t over, he still has time. But as every minute gotten closer to midnight I realized it was going to be another lonely Christmas. I tried to choke back the tears, but it wasn’t of any use. Every minute that passed made me even more sad. I couldn’t control it. I realized that I was almost as sad as the night the plane crashed. The night my parents had gotten killed in that awful plane crash. That night, I had wanted to curl up in a hole and die.
I couldn’t take it. Maybe Ken was wrong. After all, he couldn’t protect me all the time.
“Hey guys,” I said as I walked in.” “Oh hi Lita,” Amy said. “So how was your Christmas?” Serena asked?” “MEATBALL HEAD!” Rei yelled. Not again I thought. “Well I really have to go.” “Oh Lita,” Amy started, “we’re getting together on New Years Eve at the park where you and Ken Met ant 7;30 p.m. can you come?” “YEAH!” I yelled. Maybe I wouldn’t be alone, but you never know, do you?
New Years Eve, The Park 7:45 P.M.
Ok I was here at 7:30, but they never showed. I cried again. I was alone. No
one loved me. I was just their ‘friend’ because they needed me because I was
sailor Jupiter. Without me they’ll be fine. I stood up. They’ll have to be
fine. Without their friendship, there is no sailor Jupiter.
I fell out of bed as my doorbell rang. I answered it. Standing there in front of me everybody was there. I smiled Ken ran in and hugged me. “Lita what’s wrong?” my smile faded and I told them the whole story of my dream.
“Lita, you need to stop worrying,” Ken said, “I’ll always be here for you.” “And so will we,” Darien and Luna added. I smiled.
No matter what my true friends will always be there for me, whether I’m not perfect, or I am. And even if Ken wasn’t my guardian I know he would still be there for me, because that what friends do.
I looked around the room. No matter what I would always be surrounded by friends, because they care.
Author’s note.
Well in case you didn’t understand that, the whole thing was basically a dream. The message (duh!) Friends will always be there for you no matter how much of a ditz you are or no matter how strange, your true friends care about you.
BUNNY